New year resolutions 

So 2017 is just around the corner. It’s time for a new year, new opportunities. Actually I think this is an illusion. Every day, every second is a new day, new second with new opportunities. Every day and every second we have the opportunity to change. To change our attitude, perspective, values. I hope that I will welcome 2017 with this attitude. However, I have some general resoultions for this year anyway, as I think it will be good to look back to this whenever I need a reminder of how I wanted this year to be.

1. Forgive and let go of past mistakes. I saw a video by Xandria Ooi later this week and read Tony’s thought of the day on facebook about forgiveness. Sometime it’s difficult to forgive others who hurt you. Why? Maybe the reason is that we think that we are giving the other person a punishment by not forgiving him or her, and this way making the other person feel guilty. However, we can’t control anyone else conscience. In other words, maybe the other person is not feeling guilty, as our intention may be.

Then who will suffer if we don’t forgive? My past scars, only hurts me, not necessarily the people who did it. I am doing a huge service to myself if I forgive them. Maybe it could make me feel better if I make excuses for their behaviour – “he/she had a bad day that day”, “he/she were probably going through a though period”. I should lighten the weight I am carrying on my shoulders.

Forgive and let go doesn’t only apply to what others have done to me. It includes what I have done to others. To forgive myself for the past wrongdoings I may have done, the heartbreaking words that came out of my mouth. Forgive and let go.

This night I will go through every scar I am carrying, visualise that it goes into my heart, accept that it happened, forgive and let it go. This year if these scars come back in any way, I will do the same that day.
2. Forgive and let go. In life we will meet a situation where we get hurt. I will try my best to not let what others do to me, turn into scars. This is going to be a big challenge  in the future.

3. Be honest and true to my feelings. Inspired by my dear English teacher (the best one I ever had), who sent me this quote of Shakespeare: “to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man”. I am not sure I have understood it properly, but this new year resolution came as a result of my understanding of this quote.

If I feel hurt, treated unfairly, sad, happy, angry etc., I will be true to my feelings by accepting them and not being ashamed of it. By accepting my feelings and acknowledging that they exist, I take them seriously. When I take my feelings seriously, I think I will also be more confident in communicating them to others.

4. Reduce the time I spend on facebook. I will stop looking at the news feed on facebook. Why? Let’s take a simple example. If we use 15 minutes on facebook each day (I think I can use more than that). Then every year we use 5475 minutes, which is 91.25 hours. This is 3.8 days in the whole year just on facebook! I could use those days on other things – travel, have more quality-time with my near ones or further develop my talents. This leads me to my next resolution.

5. Nurture the potential in myself. Everyone has some talent or potential in some field. However, not everyone nurtures it or uses time on it to develop it even further. My excuse is often that I don’t have time. I know that if I will use less time on things that’s not necessary to do (like scrolling down the news feed on facebook), I can devote more time to this area.

6. Reduce the amount of time I spend on my mobile. Giving this less time and importance in my life.

7. Nurture and grow compassion and love. Try to use more time to understand why people do what they do. Remember that other people can also go through difficult periods. I want to try to shower as much love and compassion I can – not just to other people, but also to myself.

8. Exercise at least 30 minutes every day. This is inspired by a dear uncle who said that he exercises 1 hour each day, no matter what. Exercise doesn’t need to be that I am going to do hardcore muscle training every day – I will listen to my body’s needs. If stretching exercise is what my body needs, I will do that.

9. Listen attentively. Have you experienced that sometimes you are not present and listen attentively when the other person is talking to you? That your mind is just another place? Well, I have, and I want to do something about it. I have felt what it does to me when I speak something, but the other person is so busy with his/her mobile that you don’t feel that they take you seriously. The same applies when you are occupied with other thoughts while someone is trying to share something with you. Then it’s better to say honestly that you are not present at that moment and want to hear more attentively to what he/she has to say later. To give other people attention, to give them importance, is an act of love, which I want to focus on this year.

What are your resolutions? It’s a good time to think about what change you want to bring in yourself. Write them down and go back to it in the morning to remind yourself of them and evaluate them in the evening if you have managed to do it or not. It’s not enough to just say or write what your resolutions are if you don’t follow them up. Wish you all a happy new year!

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