In life it is very important to be open-minded, as you have to adjust to different people, different views and different situations all the time. Your Family, your relatives, your friends, your colleagues, death of someone near, birth of a new member – everything requires an open mind to successfully cope with the surroundings and changes in life. Some weeks ago a family therapist held a lecture for my class, and I wanted to share something he said to you about this matter.
In one valley there is a big tree with deep and strong roots. In another valley there is another tree – that too with deep and strong roots. One leaf from each tree falls down in the ocean, and they stick together. This is a couple and this invites some challenges as they are from different trees – “Are we going to have this to breakfast?”, “Do you cut that part of the tomato and throw that one? Don’t you eat it up?”. So as we have different roots from the other person, we will meet challenges, even small daily routines can be different.
The important thing is how we solve these differences. Do we get attached to our ego and won’t let go of our way of doing things? That may transform the challenge into a conflict. The solutions to these challenges, was according to my professor, negotiation, adaptation/adjustment and acceptance. We have to find new ways to interact with each other, we cannot stick with our old ways of interacting if we don’t want the challenge to transform into a conflict. The leaves should learn to tackle the differences and stick together without falling into a waterfall and go their own way – one to left, the other to the right. To go on the same road they have to negotiate, adapt and accept.
It’s up to us if we want to adjust to the things around us and make a more harmonious relationship or stick to our idea of doing things and create conflicts. However, it’s important to remember that the negotiations shouldn’t hurt your self-respect.
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PS: I am sorry for this late post!