I think there are four types of tears I have experienced in my life. One is the sad one, the second is the appeciating-praise-tears, third one is happy-tears and the last is the indescribable one.
The sad one. I feel this type of tears are actually a complaint. You are complaining about your situation, your circumstances, yourself or someone attached to your life. These type of tears arise when you don’t accept the Hukam, you don’t accept that life is not straightforward, it’s a road with uphills and downhills. You live in an illusion that your life is nothing but perfect, and when you suddenly get shocked that you too can experience a downhill you never imagined, you start complaining why this is happening to you. The reality is that this is happening to everyone around you. I experience uphills and downhills just like you, my road is not straightforward, just like you and everyone else. You are not any different from those around you. Realizing this will maybe make us better sympathize with others who are facing a difficult time, giving them advice and keeping a distance from our experiences and ask ourself questions like: Why am I actually crying here and now? Am I complaining about something? What do I get by complaining? Complaining just fill our life with more pain. Sikhi says that we should stay in a balance – by not becoming attached to either the uphills or the downhills. Maintaining a detachment when we are moving along the uphills and downhills, by not letting our experiences affect our ego. The moment we think that this is happening to me and start having thoughts like I deserve better, we have attached the situation to our ego, and that causes more pain. A vicious circle.
The appreciating-praise-tears. These type of tears comes when someone praises you. You start crying out of appreciation of the praise. This type of tears is also connected to the ego, I think. You attribute the praises people are giving you, to yourself. Thoughts like “Oh, they are saying I am good person” and “Oh, they appreciated my work”, are attached to our ego. Our ego loves praise; praise boost our ego up. Why are social media sites so popular? One reason can be that they satisfy the need of our ego; you post a picture, and get a lot of praises of how beautiful or handsome you are, and take these praises to yourself – “yes, I am beautiful” or “yes, I am handsome”. Sikhi says Sabh gun tere, mein nahi koe – All virtues are Yours, Lord, I have none at all. So the ideal thing in sikhi, is that the praises “you” get, is not yours, they are Gods. If this is our thinking, we are not attached to your ego, and others praises won’t affect us; we will just take the praises as a chance to praise God.
The happy one. Have you ever experienced that you have laughed so much that you start crying? I have experienced that a lot of times. And now I have started questioning myself if this is called maintaining a balance. Is this having a mental stability? Are you attaching the situation to your ego in those moments? I am still searching for answers here 😉
The indescribable one. Ironically I am writing about this even when I called it “the indescribable one”, hehe. These tears are of no waste, the more you experience it, the merrier. Tears coming out of love for God, are indescribable. They are not attached to our ego – you are crying out of love for God, and those tears are praises of God. I have experienced these moments when I am connected with the nature and cry out of gratitude or when I am completely absorbed in a hymn, a shabad. Those moments are rare, I wish I could get more of them. And those moments appear only when you are detached from your ego.
Next time you see yourself crying, reflect upon why you are crying – are you crying out of your ego? Are you complaining? Or are you crying selflessly?
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